


In The AM

by LittleMissEightySixed



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Angst, Christmas, F/M, Fluff and Angst, Heartbreak, Love, Makeup, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-02
Updated: 2017-12-02
Packaged: 2019-02-09 10:29:34
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,301
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12885945
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LittleMissEightySixed/pseuds/LittleMissEightySixed
Summary: In the AM Draco Malfoy finds himself at his most vulnerable. It's Christmas, the one person who has proven to be his salvation has disappeared and the memories that continue to haunt him seem to be at an all-time high. It seems his fear of abandonment wasn't nearly as far-fetched as he was led to believe. But what happens when the unexpected happens, and maybe, just maybe, the one person who has told him all along that she would never leave... meant it?





	In The AM

**Author's Note:**

> This piece was written for DHr Advent with the prompt "Hot chocolate" and I have to say that I am still in shock that I was even nominated to participate with such amazing writers! Thank you to everyone who nominated me, this is for you. xx  
> Special thanks to MrsInfinity for creating the beautiful cover for this. <3

 

**In The AM**

 

The clock on the nightstand blinked _3:14 am._

 

He didn't have to turn over or feel for her to know she wasn't there.

 

His room was cold, all life that had filled it the night previous now gone; every bit of warmth that had filled him _—_ now seemingly to have disappeared with her.

 

_Her. The reason for his torment._

 

Shaking away the early morning drowsiness, Draco willed himself to get up. The digital clock illuminated the room in a soft blue glow, showing only a few feet in front of him. His wand lay haphazardly on the table next to a glass of water, half empty.

 

_How fitting_ he thought, unamused.

 

Sliding the slender piece of wood between his fingers, he rose slowly off the bed, aiming his wand lazily towards the ground as he summoned his sweatpants with a silent _accio_.  The fabric scratched uncomfortably at his legs and abdomen as he pulled the joggers up; the waistband slung low on his hips.

 

“Why do you keep doing it?” Draco asked himself lowly, the sound of his voice straining.

 

No one answered. No one _ever_ answered.

 

The truth of the matter was that she was his addiction. _Hermione Granger_ had become his escape _—_ His _least_ destructive one at least.

 

If you were to ask him when, _how_ , their situation came to fruition, he couldn’t tell you. He had been bad for a long time. **Too long** , if you were to ask Blaise or Theo. All he knew was that the moment she came back into his life... **he got better**.

 

And he had come to terms with it.

 

Truthfully.

 

The war had done things to him. The sounds and images of the battle still echoed in his mind, occupying any and every space it could find. He hallucinated sometimes _— a lot of the time_. In the mornings, he would see Rowle and Greyback’s faces staring down at him, Fenrir’s teeth bared as Rowle grinned down at him wickedly. It used to terrify him, as most things did, but he learned to just accept it.

 

In the dining room he would see The Dark Lord - Voldemort standing at the head of the table as Nagini lay beside him, basking in the blood of the woman that was just fed to her.

 

_Disgusting_.

 

These images, at one point unbearable, now seemed to be only a dull reminder of what was. The past. He had been able to overcome it when her visits became more frequent and their conversations became longer, deeper. She had wanted to know more about his struggles, about him. She was the only one who took the time to understand.

 

No matter what, it always came back to her.

 

**_Hermione_**.

 

The walk to the kitchen almost felt wrong; he had taken his self-described “walk of shame” many early mornings without her, but today was _Christmas_ …the one day he had allowed himself to believe she might actually stay for once.

 

He knew why she couldn’t, of course.

 

But it hurt all the same.

 

His footsteps were silent as his feet padded across the wooden floor towards the middle of the floor.

 

“ _Lumos_ ,” he whispered, his wand’s tip illuminating the small space. The kitchen counter was undisturbed he noticed, save for two small mugs he and Hermione had used the night previous. Droplets of coffee stood suspended, frozen in time at the edge of his mug. Flicking his wand to the other cup, Draco peered inside. A dark brown ring stained the bottom of Hermione’s, small pieces of white soggy marshmallows clinging to the bottom.

 

His lips quirked into a sad smile.

 

It wasn’t so much the mug that got him -, it was what the mug had _held_ that was significant. Gripping the ceramic handle, Draco placed the bottom of it flat in his hand, cupping it with his palm.

 

The silence settled in again as the light from his wand dimmed. The kitchen no longer seemed as inviting as it did moments before, if he could even call it that. Draco contemplated staying there, sitting at the counter to wait and see if she would come back, but he knew she was gone. Without another thought, he slid his wand into the deep pocket of his sweats and made his way to the living room.

 

There, his small, pitiful tree sat in the corner of the room with a single present beneath it.

 

A present that wasn’t even for him.

 

Tiny blue and white lights adorned the tree with only a handful of ornaments to fill the empty spaces. Draco had never thought much about continuing the Christmas tradition. He hadn’t even thought to buy a bloody tree this year! That was until Hermione came bearing a gift: a tiny box with a white snowflake inside of it. The way her eyes lit up as he opened the box caused his heart to swell. He wanted to keep that smile on her face forever if he could.

 

So he bought the damn tree.

 

She had given him more ornaments as the day grew closer. Something about distracting oneself with the good things to help forget about the bad things. He didn’t know what she meant, but he wasn’t doing it for himself. He was doing it for her.

 

_She was the ‘good things’._  

 

Sitting cross legged in front of the tree, Draco gripped the mug tighter, willing himself to remember. Staring into the blue lights helped. Within moments, he was transported back to last night and all the nights before that had taken the same turn.

 

______________________________________________________________________________

 

_“What are you drinking?” Draco asked, an amused smirk on his face._

 

_Hermione sat atop the kitchen counter, clad in only his shirt as she stirred at her cup aimlessly, as if she was in a trance. Looking up, she gave him a smile. “You already know. You_ **_always_ ** _ask me.”_

 

_He watched as her stirring stopped, seeing the uncertainty creeping back in as her eyes clouded over with an unreadable expression._

 

_“Humour me,” he pleaded._

 

_Sighing, Hermione swung her legs back and forth anxiously. “I’m drinking hot chocolate, Malfoy.”_

 

_Wincing, Draco took a step towards her. “Back to Malfoy, is it?”_

 

_“You know that isn’t what I meant.”_

 

_“Well, what did you mean?”_

 

_Clutching the mug harder, she sighed again, this time with frustration. “Draco, please… can we not get into this?”_

 

_He shrugged, taking another step closer, this time placing his hands on her thighs. “Why do you never offer me any?” he finally asked. It had been a question that had been slowly driving him mad for the better part of the two years that had been filled with her presence._

 

_Placing the mug to the side of her, Hermione looked away from him, tendrils of her hair falling into her face, obscuring her from Draco’s view._

 

_He weighed his options - to approach or not to approach?_

 

_He decided it was worth the risk._

 

_Parting her legs slowly, Draco stepped between them. He could feel her breath hitch as he leaned toward her face, capturing her chin softly between his hands. Her breath warmed his fingers as he tilted her face up, tucking the loose strands of hair behind her ear. “Why?”_

 

_Forcing herself to look at him, she could see how much not knowing bothered him. Biting her lip gently, she finally spoke. “Hot chocolate, or more…_ **_my_ ** _hot chocolate has always been reserved for the people I….care about the most…”_

 

_A pained look filled Draco’s eyes. “Ah…I see. So this is Weasley’s drink?” He dropped his hand from around her face._

 

_“What?” she asked. “No!” She grabbed his hands, running her thumb over the backs of his knuckles. “No, that isn’t…” she trailed off. “The only person…people,” she corrected, “that have had it are my parents.”_

 

_Draco stared at her, hope swimming in his eyes. “Really?”_

 

_Hermione smiled, “Really.”_

 

_At her words, a wicked grin spread across his face as he reached out to hold her cheeks once more. “So does this mean I still have time to convince you I am worthy of it…?” Draco breathed, his breath hot against her face. Dropping his hands, he ran the tips of his fingers up her thigh slowly, he watched as she squirmed under his touch._

 

_“You have time…but no promises you will succee-” Hermione gasped as she felt his fingers slip beneath the fabric of her panties, teasing the opening of her swollen lips._

 

_“If the state of how soaked you are is any indicator,” he growled lowly into her ear, “I think I am off to an awfully good start.”_

 

_Arching into his hand, Hermione growled back. “Well aren’t you a presumptuous one?”_

 

_“I wouldn’t say presumptuous...” Draco mocked as he tore the fabric away from her. “I would say more ambitious.” He winked._

 

_“Oh?” she asked, her voice filled with faux innocence. “Ambition for_ what, **** _exactly?” Hermione watched his face as she ran her feet up the backs of his legs, pushing his pants down around his ankles._

 

_Groaning into the side of her neck, Draco pulled her closer to him. “Oh, my sweet, sweet witch…for the best prize of all.”_

 

_“What might that be?” she coaxed, wrapping her arms around the back of his neck._

 

_Leaning in towards her ear, Draco nipped at her lobe teasingly. “Your hot chocolate.” Lining himself up at her warmth, he thrust into her. Their moans in sync as each of them worked to ravish the other._

 

_Hermione smirked as she felt his body tense against her before plunging in once more. “Looks like you’re off to an_ **_awfully_ ** _good start.”_

______________________________________________________________________________

 

He had stayed in that same cross-legged position for hours.

 

It was a quarter to seven when he heard the floo roar to life.

 

He didn’t bother checking who it was.

 

Theo or Blaise he supposed, neither of whom he was too excited to see. He continued to stare at the blinking lights on the tree and watched as one fizzed out entirely. It wasn’t until he felt someone crouch down beside him that he knew his visitor had appeared.

 

“Draco?” _she_ whispered.

 

He kept his eyes downward, looking at the cup still in his hands. “You left…” His voice broke. “Why?”

 

The look of shame on her face caused internal turmoil to rage within him. He hated to see her uupset.

 

“I-I had to take care of some things,” she stuttered.

 

“Some things?” Draco questioned. “What things?”

 

Hermione remained silent, her hand tightening slightly where she gripped his shoulder.

 

Shaking his head, Draco laughed humorlessly. “I suppose it doesn’t matter _why_ you left - you always do. I’m sorry for asking.”

 

“It’s not like that…”

 

“Don’t play with me, Hermione.” His voice was pained. “You _never_ sta-”

 

“I meant to leave a note!” she exclaimed, spinning around to face him. Cupping his face with her hands, she begged him to listen. “But you were so exhausted that I thought you might sleep through the night and I could sneak back in…you wouldn’t have known I even left.”

 

The feel of her fingers upon his cheek caused an involuntary shiver to run through him. “Honest?”

 

She nodded. “I promise.”

 

The silence returned again. Neither knowing what to say.

  
*(*)*

Minutes ticked by. One turned into two, two turned into three, and Hermione lost track of how long it had been. What was he thinking? The clock read 7:02 when she finally looked at it again.

 

Taking a deep breath, she decided now was as good of a time as ever.

 

Draco didn’t resist when she crawled into his lap, pushing away the hair that fell into his eyes. “I left because I needed to make sure no one came looking for me today…so we could spend Christmas together.” She pawed at his face playfully. Her index finger trailed a path down the middle of his slender nose following down into his cupid’s bow.

 

“Merlin, Hermione…a note would have been nice, you know?” Prying open her fingers, Draco kissed the palm of her hand. “Next time?” All remnants of were sadness gone from his voice.

 

She nodded silently, leaning forward to kiss the tip of his nose. “I also left for another reason,” Hermione replied, trying to hide her smile.

 

Curiosity shon in his eyes, the intensity of his silver gaze causing a slight blush to creep up her neck.

 

“Oh?” he inquired, a slight chuckle evident in his tone. “Pray tell, _what_ exactly were you  doing?”

 

At this, she grinned.

 

“I got you a present,” she beamed, withdrawing her wand from within her pocket.

 

Draco frowned. “I thought we agreed no gifts for me?” The sound of his voice was neutral as he tried to calm the drumming of his heart.

 

“No,” Hermione huffed. “ _You_ agreed to that. I did no such thing.”

 

“Semantics.” Draco waved his arm carelessly.

 

“I don’t believe that applies,” she taunted, rolling her eyes.

 

Tracing patterns at the small of her back, Draco gave a lopsided smile. “Well, go on then. You have my interest piqued.”

 

With a squeal of delight, Hermione kissed his cheek before rocketing out of his lap. She kept her back to him as she began to silently transfigure objects into what she needed.

 

Draco’s curiosity only grew as he saw what looked to be a cot at Hermione’s feet; what other things she was doing were hidden from his view.

 

As Hermione continued with her fast spellwork, Draco released his hand, whispering a quiet _accio_ as the tiny box from below the tree flew into his hand.

 

Just as the gift landed in his palm, Hermione turned back towards him.

 

He could see some sort of box was behind her, holding it up by handles as she maneuvered her way around until she was in front of him.

 

“You have to promise you won’t get mad,” Hermione warned as she teetered from one foot to the next.

 

Draco quirked a brow as he eyed her and the mysterious box that was _just_ out of his reach. “How can I possibly agree to that?”

 

A murderous look crossed her face as she took a half step forward, “ _Draco_ _Lucius Malfoy_ , if you do **not** agree to not get upset **I** will get upset and you **do not** want that, do you?” she seethed.

 

Nodding a mile a minute, he hastily agreed.

 

Taking that as the confirmation, she needed,  her features softened to their normal state.

 

“Thank you,” she simpered. “Happy Christmas, Draco…”

 

He watched as she set the box down in front of her. The front had bars and a small handle towards the side. He looked at her, confusion written on his face.

 

Before he could ask her any questions, she shook her head and laughed as he watched her unlock the cage.

 

That was when he saw it.

 

A small, black, wrinkled mass wobbled out on all fours from it’s enclosure. The tiny beast made its way towards Draco, snorting and whining as it tried to crawl into his lap.

 

Draco’s bewild expression caused Hermione to giggle as she approached the two of them, opting to sit beside Draco rather than in front. “Well?” she asked. “What do you think?”

 

Looking between the furry puff in his lap and the woman to his right, Draco couldn’t help but smile. “It’s lovely Granger, but what exactly is _it_?” He picked up the thing and cradled it in his arms.

 

Hermione scoffed, reaching out to scratch gently behind the little ones ears. “It’s a dog, Draco. More precisely, it’s a pug.”

 

At the confirmation of what it was, the pug whined, burrowing its head between Draco’s arm.

 

“A pug?” He screwed his face up as he examined the pup’s face. “Is it muggle?”

 

“If by muggle you mean you won’t find it in _Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them?_ Sure, _he’s_ muggle.” she replied. “I thought he would be good to have around…a companion for when _people,” for when I_ she thought, “am not available.”

 

Draco’s eyes widened as he looked down at _his_ pug with pride. “He’s mine?”

 

Hermione nodded, smiling.

 

A small sneeze came from the pug as he curled against Draco’s body. A sly giggle erupted from her.

 

_He wanted to get her to laugh._

 

“So,” Draco looked at her seriously. “Does that make him a puggle?” he asked. “Or a mug?”

 

That _really_ did her in.

 

Rocking herself back against the floor, Hermione tried to capture her breath. “It’s _just_ a pug, Draco.”

 

_He loved to see her laugh._

 

Once she had settled down, Draco cleared his throat. “I have something for you as well.” The nerves were visible in his voice.

 

Hermione turned towards him, all laughter and smiles gone from her face as she stared at him intently. “ _Draco_ … you didn’t have to do that.”

 

Draco silenced her as he raised his free hand to stop her. “ **_You_ ** didn’t have to get me anything, let alone _this_ thing that is snoring into my arm.” He chuckled, looking between the two of them again. “You definitely set the bar high.”

 

Hermione smiled sheepishly. “Sorry.”

 

Draco shrugged as he handed her the box. “It definitely isn’t as _spectacular_ as the gift you gave me…” He sounded embarrassed. “But the sentiment is all the same.”

 

The box was wrapped beautifully in gold wrapping. Hermione turned it over between her hands a few times before deciding to rip at the gorgeous packaging.

 

Beneath the gold foil was a plain grey box tied with a piece of ribbon. “Did you do this?”

 

It was his turn to roll his eyes. “I’m a grown man, you do realize that don’t you? I know how to wrap a bloody box,” he groaned.

 

Stifling a smile, Hermione tugged at the ribbon. “Just making sure.” The ribbon fell away easily, leaving only the box.

 

“Don’t feel like you _have_ to do anything, Hermione… “

 

She didn’t respond - instead she slowly lifted the top of the box to reveal a light green tissue paper. Peeling the edges back slowly, she could _finally_ see what the gift was and _why_ he had said that.

 

Pulling the chain from the box, she watched as it slowly unwound itself until the gift dangled in front of her face.

 

_The silence returned_.

 

“Please say something,” he begged, the light from the Christmas tree reflected off the metal surface of the present.

 

Hermione shook her head, placing the gift on the ground as she went into the other room.

 

Draco sat motionless. The only sounds were of his dog’s snores and the quiet buzzing of tree’s lights. His eyes were trained on the present he had given her that now lay at his feet.

 

A key. _His key_.

 

“You’re a bloody fool!” he whispered to himself as his body racked with silent sobs.

 

Just as the first tear fell, he heard the sounds of footsteps.

 

A second later, Hermione stepped into the living room again, this time with two mugs. She gave him a small smile as she sat across from him, pushing the mug towards his leg.

 

He examined the dark liquid a moment before taking it, grasping the handle between his hand.

 

Pulling the edges of her sleeves down, Hermione leaned towards him, brushing her hand across his cheek. “Don’t cry,” she whispered.

 

Draco nodded weakly, bringing the cup to his lips. As the liquid touched his tongue his eyes widened.

 

_Hot chocolate_.

 

The look on her face said it all, _I trust you_. Hermione scooted closer to him, plopping three marshmallows in as he went to take another sip.

 

_Definitely hot chocolate_.

 

Before he could ask her what it meant, he looked down at the ground.

 

_The key was no longer there._

  
  


 

**Author's Note:**

> Another huge thank you to everyone who nominated and takes the time to read this work. ♥️ It has been a rough few months and an even rougher few weeks, so I appreciate all the love and support of the people in this fandom and the people who put together DHr Advent. I hope you all have a wonderful Christmas and an amazing New Year! All my love! - LittleMissEighty-Sixed


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